Presenting...the 2012 Golden Steve Awards.
Far and away the most coveted of motion picture accolades, Golden Steves are frequently described as the Oscars without the politics. Impervious to bribery, unreceptive to ballyhoo, disgusted by sentiment and riddled with integrity, this committee of one might legitimately be termed "fair-mindedness incarnate." Nearly 200 of the year's most acclaimed features were screened prior to the compilation of this ballot. First, some caveats:
1) Owing to a lifelong suspicion of prime numbers, each category is comprised of six nominees, not five.
2) This list is in no way connected with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences—a fact that should be apparent from its acumen. Please look elsewhere for Oscar analysis.
And now, the worthy honorees:
Best Picture
Amour
The Deep Blue Sea
Holy Motors
In the Family
The Master
Tabu
Best Director
Paul Thomas Anderson, The Master
Leos Carax, Holy Motors
Terence Davies, The Deep Blue Sea
Miguel Gomes, Tabu
Michael Haneke, Amour
Julia Loktev, The Loneliest Planet
Best Actor
Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
John Hawkes, The Sessions
Denis Lavant, Holy Motors
Anders Danielsen Lie, Oslo, August 31st
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
Jean-Louis Trintignant, Amour
Best Actress
Marion Cotillard, Rust and Bone
Nina Hoss, Barbara
Rachel Mwanza, War Witch
Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
Quvenzhane Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Rachel Weisz, The Deep Blue Sea
Best Supporting Actor
Jason Clarke, Zero Dark Thirty
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
Clarke Peters, Red Hook Summer
Christopher Walken, A Late Quartet
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Best Supporting Actress
Adriana Asti, Unforgivable
Ann Dowd, Compliance
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Rinko Kikuchi, Norwegian Wood
Brit Marling, Sound of My Voice
Donna Murphy, Dark Horse
Best Screenplay--Adapted
Bernie (Richard Linklater, Skip Hollandsworth)
Chicken with Plums (Marjane Satrapi, Vincent Paronnaud)
The Deep Blue Sea (Terence Davies)
Lincoln (Tony Kushner)
Oslo, August 31st (Joachim Trier, Eskil Vogt)
The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Stephen Chbosky)
Best Screenplay--Original
Amour (Michael Haneke)
Flight (John Gatins)
Holy Motors (Leos Carax)
In the Family (Patrick Wang)
The Master (Paul Thomas Anderson)
Ruby Sparks (Zoe Kazan)
Best Animated Feature
Brave (Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman)
Consuming Spirits (Chris Sullivan)
From Up on Poppy Hill (Goro Miyazaki)
The Pirates! Band of Misfits (Peter Lord, Jeff Newittt)
The Rabbi's Cat (Antoine Delesvaux, Joann Sfar)
Zarafa (Remi Bezancon, Jean-Christophe Lie)
Best Non-Fiction Film
The Central Park Five (Ken Burns, Sarah Burns, David McMahon)
5 Broken Cameras (Emad Burnat, Guy Davidi)
The Gatekeepers (Dror Moreh)
The Invisible War (Kirby Dick)
The Queen of Versailles (Lauren Greenfield)
This Is Not a Film (Mojtaba Mirtahmasb, Jafar Panahi)
Best Foreign Language Film
Amour (Michael Haneke)
Barbara (Christian Petzold)
Holy Motors (Leos Carax)
Neighboring Sounds (Kleber Mendonca Filho)
Oslo, August 31st (Joachim Trier)
Tabu (Miguel Gomes)
Best Original Song
"Ancora Qui," Django Unchained
(Ennio Morricone, Elisa Toffoli)
"Big Machine," Safety Not Guaranteed
(Ryan Miller)
"California Solo," California Solo
(Adam Franklin)
"Cosmonaut," Lawless
(Nick Cave, Warren Ellis)
"Skyfall," Skyfall
(Adele, Paul Epworth)
"Who Were We?," Holy Motors
(Leos Carax, Neil Hannon)
2 comments:
Hey Steverino -- As always a most impressive list! You've gotta be the most objective guy out there -- no heavy lobbying done here! But dude, I thought I'd seen all the biggies. I was all prepared for you and you throw me The Deep Blue Sea, Holy Motors, In the Family, Tabu... Where does an old guy find this stuff?! I asked the kid at the local Multiplex and got deer in the headlights. Help us in Peoria, man! Keep up the great work. All the best, Allnut
Americans do not like movies in foreign languages because they don't like having to read subtitles; and besides, foreigners can't do anything better than Americans so why should Americans have to read all those words? Car chases and Batman flying around Gotham don't need no stinkin' words, so why does Amour?
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