As the world holds its breath...

Presenting...the 2008 Golden Steve Awards.

Far and away the most coveted of motion picture accolades, Golden Steves are frequently described as the Oscars without the politics. Impervious to bribery, unreceptive to ballyhoo, disgusted by sentiment and riddled with integrity, this committee of one might legitimately be termed “fair-mindedness incarnate.” Over 100 of the year’s most acclaimed features were screened prior to the compilation of this ballot. First, a few caveats:

1) Owing to a lifelong suspicion of prime numbers, each category (save Best Animated Feature) is comprised of six nominees, not five.

2) Several of the works under scrutiny received international distribution before January 1, 2008. However, they were unavailable to American audiences and thus ineligible for Golden Steve consideration until now.

3) This list is in no way connected with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences—a fact that should be apparent from its acumen. Please look elsewhere for Oscar predictions.

And now, the worthy honorees:

Best Picture

The Edge of Heaven

Gomorrah

Happy-Go-Lucky

Let the Right One In

My Winnipeg

The Wrestler

Best Director

Fatih Akin, The Edge of Heaven

Tomas Alfredson, Let the Right One In

Darren Aronofsky, The Wrestler

Matteo Garrone, Gomorrah

Mike Leigh, Happy-Go-Lucky

Guy Maddin, My Winnipeg

Best Actor

Michael Fassbender, Hunger

Brendan Gleeson, In Bruges

Richard Jenkins, The Visitor

Frank Langella, Frost/Nixon

Sean Penn, Milk

Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler

Best Actress

Anne Hathaway, Rachel Getting Married

Sally Hawkins, Happy-Go-Lucky

Maria Heiskanen, Everlasting Moments

Melissa Leo, Frozen River

Kristin Scott Thomas, I've Loved You So Long

Michelle Williams, Wendy and Lucy

Best Supporting Actor

Michel Blanc, The Witnesses

Josh Brolin, Milk

Philip Seymour Hoffman, Doubt

Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight

Eddie Marsan, Happy-Go-Lucky

Michael Shannon, Revolutionary Road

Best Supporting Actress

Penelope Cruz, Vicki Cristina Barcelona

Viola Davis, Doubt

Rosemarie DeWitt, Rachel Getting Married

Ann Savage, My Winnipeg

Hanna Schygulla, The Edge of Heaven

Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler

Best Screenplay--Adapted

The Class (Francois Begaudeau, Robin Campillo, Laurent Cantet)

Doubt (John Patrick Shanley)

Everlasting Moments (Niklas Radstrom, Jan Troell, Agneta Ulfsater-Troell)

Frost/Nixon (Peter Morgan)

Gomorrah (Maurizio Braucci, Ugo Chiti, Gianni Di Gregorio, Matteo Garrone, Massimo Gaudioso, Roberto Saviano)

Let the Right One In (John Ajvide Lindqvist)

Best Screenplay--Original

The Edge of Heaven (Fatih Akin)

Happy-Go-Lucky (Mike Leigh)

Milk (Dustin Lance Black)

My Winnipeg (Guy Maddin, George Toles)

Synechdoche, New York (Charlie Kaufman)

The Wrestler (Robert Siegel)

Best Animated Feature

Chicago 10 (Brett Morgen)

$9.99 (Tatia Rosenthal)

WALL-E (Andrew Stanton)

Waltz With Bashir (Ari Folman)

Best Non-Fiction Film

Bigger, Stronger, Faster (Chris Bell)

Chris and Don: A Love Story (Tina Mascara and Guido Santi)

Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father (Kurt Kuenne)

Encounters at the End of the World (Werner Herzog)

Trouble the Water (Carl Deal and Tia Lessin)

Up the Yangtze (Yung Chang)

Best Foreign Language Film

The Class (Laurent Cantet)

The Edge of Heaven (Fatih Akin)

Everlasting Moments (Jan Troell)

Gomorrah (Matteo Garrone)

Let the Right One In (Tomas Alfredson)

Revanche (Gotz Spielmann)

Best Original Song

"Dracula's Lament," Forgetting Sarah Marshall (Jason Segel)

"Little Person," Synecdoche, New York (Charlie Kaufman, Jon Brion)

"Once in a Lifetime," Cadillac Records (Ian Dench, Amanda Ghost, Beyonce Knowles)

"Trouble the Water," Trouble the Water (Kimberly Rivers Roberts)

"Up to Our Nex," Rachel Getting Married (Robyn Hitchcock)

"The Wrestler," The Wrestler (Bruce Springsteen)